jeez, i hope this doesn't get too lengthy. earlier this year something just felt "off." i chalked it up to stress, being a business owner, or that since i hit 30 i just felt out of sorts -puberty in reverse. well i wasn't too far off being diagnosed with a hormone imbalance called poly cystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS). (wtf!?) i had never heard of it, but now i have spent so much time researching, reading, learning and feeling like a bit of a lab rat with this whole thing, since there is no cure. i have had to re-learn how to eat, what to eat, when to eat and my relationship with food. not that i didn't have a good relationship, but discovering what my body needs or doesn't, and how it impacts my life - how i have to constantly plan and be conscious has knocked me off my feet since i have always been able to eat anything without thinking twice about it. (cheese, anyone?) and also how this changes my outlook on life. how i have always constantly put others before myself in all aspects of my life. i have to learn how to start with ME.
it all started since i put on weight after moving back to vermont 3 years ago and my face was freaking out with acne like a 14 year old. this of course doesn't make anyone feel good, but discouraged, low self esteem and also having "brain fog" and being unable to concentrate. i literally told people i felt like a robot malfunctioning with smoke coming out of my head about to explode. that's the best way to put it. also feeling grounchy, hangry & just out of control. (insulin drop anyone?) in addition to PCOS, i was also diagnosed with rosacea, both without a cure. PCOS is a path way to diabetes if left untreated and also is the leading cause of infertility. of course the frosting on the cake, finding a beautiful fibroid on my uterus. (so no, i really am not having children, thanks.) it has been emotional in my day to day life, my marriage and overall wellness. but knowledge is power and self pity can only get you so far, so i have decided to take these conditions head-on and literally turn my life upside down to be the best version of myself i can be, both inside and out. i've had to find happiness in other things than just cheese.
i literally would not have found these issues if it were not for suzy shulman, creater and owner of STRENGTH BY BALANCE, the fearless leader of my work out classes. she offers lifestyle coaching which started this whole journey. a huge, huge thank you to her knowledge, positivity, being my cheerleader and navigator in these dark waters. i get a little teary-eyed typing this. (if you're ready to join class let me know & you can be my guest!)
as i photographed your weddings, every ceremony, every kiss and embrace has been especially emotional as i was with you and witnessing the beginning of your lives together. please do not ever forget the meaning and symbols of a marriage, and through the thick & thin promises you have made to each other. lives can change in a matter of seconds.
5. blue ribbon from the Vermont Professional Photographers print competition